Sequencing

Recently I have been interviewing for placement for practicum next semester. In order to complete my degree in social work, I must complete a 480-hour internship (worth 9 hours of credit).

I haven't been pursued the job market for 10 years. When I was expecting my first child, I had a career that I loved. I visited child care centers and tried to find good in-home care providers for the baby I was carrying. Even though the caregivers at these places were probably loving and skilled people (mostly women), what I saw and felt when I visited and searched was mostly sadness. And the amount of money I would need to pay someone to presumably walk through fire, if necessary, for my child was almost all of my paycheck--and, I sadly suspected, wasn't nearly enough. (If you really want to look at a society's values, follow the money. People who care for the loved ones of others--day care and nursing home workers--are not truly and fairly compensated for their work. Motherhood isn't counted in our economy at all; women who have children often have no choice but to work outside the home, and those who are able to be with their children full-time lose precious years of nest-egg building for their contribution to the well-being of society's future. (The cynicism of the GOP's nomination of Sarah Palin for the vice-presidency shined a light on the hypocrisy of the nation's attitude towards women in general and the Republican party's in particular. But I digress.)

I know that, when interviewing for a job (and what I'm interviewing for isn't a job, but an internship), there are certain questions prospective employers aren't allowed to ask and certain information prospective employees would be wise not to offer. It's part of the whole "personal is political" issue that surrounds women's lives more than men's. Even though it's illegal to discriminate based on gender, marital status, whatever, it is a fact that working mothers are probably more likely to have to scramble when their kids are sick than working fathers. So when interviewing, you keep that information to yourself. What I am wondering is, How?

I consider the time that I've spent being with my children (and admittedly I've been more of a part-time caregiver in recent years as I've pursued my degree; I'm very blessed in that respect and don't deny that earning a bachelor's degree is of great importance to me, perhaps selfishly so. But I love to learn, and I want to set an example for my children on the value of education) to not be wasted years. I believe I've nurtured an attachment to them that will serve my family well. And, perhaps, other mothers reentering the work force have an easier time negotiating the transition; for me, undoing the mistakes of my past has been a haunting theme of my journey. My status of mother is, for me, primary.

What I've found is that I cannot pursue meaningful internship placement without expressing the place my children occupy in my life.